'I have chosen Bezalel son of Uri...and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts.' Exodus 31:2-3
In the Old Testament God dwelled with his people in his 'tabernacle', a big tent, and he spends a large part of Exodus telling Moses how it must be designed. Here, God also tells Moses how it will be built, for he has chosen Bezalel to lead the workteam, and he's equipped Bezalel with the gifts he'll need for this work by filling him with his Spirit.
This is the first time in the Bible that God talks of filling someone with his spirit - prophets, priests, leaders and preachers have gone before, but it's a craftsman who will build God's tabernacle who is the first to be blessed in this way. God uses humans to do his work; he chooses which humans will do it; and he equips them to do the tasks he sets them.
Christians have all been filled with God's Spirit; have all been given gifts to use for God's work. Whatever you're good at, whatever your talents are, they've been given to you by God so that you can work for God. How do you use your gifts in his service? Do you keep them for yourself and your pleasure, or use them for his?
The tabernacle was like a mini-creation; a perfect place where God dwelled and there was no sin. God chose and equipped Bezalel and his team to build this mini-creation. Ever since Jesus' resurrection, God has been building his new, eternal creation, a new creation that Christians are part of and which will be finished when Jesus returns to this world. If you're a Christian, you're part of that new creation, and God wants to use you to build his new creation, just like he used Bezalel. What a privilege to be used by the Creator God in this way!
This week, will you use the gifts of speech and friendship God has given you to tell others of Jesus and build God's recreated people; will you use your gifts to help God's recreated people; will you think of your abilities not as your own but as God's, given to you by him because you have been chosen by him to build for him?
Thursday, 22 February 2007
True beauty
This week's morning sermon at St Andrew's Church is on Mark 14:1-11, which is about a woman who takes some perfume worth a year's wages (like, £20,000), and pours it over Jesus. It seems an outrageous waste, and the people with Jesus are really cross, pointing out that it would have been more worthwhile to sell the perfume and use it for the poor. Others are even more furious and for Judas this is the final straw, as immediately afterwards he goes off to betray Jesus to his enemies.
We might expect Jesus to agree with those who think this is a waste, and say to the woman 'Thanks, but really you could have used this for the poor.' But he doesn't. He describes what the woman has done in two ways, which when put together are staggering - 'She has done a beautiful thing (v6)...She did what she could (v8).' This woman has been completely devoted to Jesus, giving everything she had without holding anything back - and Jesus commends her for it. In effect, he's saying he's worth everything - 'She should give me this perfume, because I'm worth it' (a bit like a very early L'Oreal advert!)
This is the only time we find Jesus calling something 'beautiful.' Who does the Son of God think is beautiful? The woman who 'did what she could'.
We live in a society which holds up beauty as the greatest achievement for a woman. Magazines, TV shows, catwalks...all of them tell women that they need to be beautiful, that beauty is what they should devote themselves too. Jesus turns that upside down. What is true beauty? It is doing what we can for him, devoting everything we have to him. Beauty lies not in our face and our shape, but in our heart and our actions.
It's always lovely when someone says to us 'You're beautiful' or 'You're good-looking' or 'You're lovely'. Who would you most like to think you are beautiful - a passer-by on the street, a guy/girl at a party...or the eternal Son of God? Jesus looks at those who do what they can for him, who give him everything they've got, and those are the people that he says 'They do a beautiful thing.' That's true beauty - devotion to Jesus - and that's the only beauty that never fades.
We might expect Jesus to agree with those who think this is a waste, and say to the woman 'Thanks, but really you could have used this for the poor.' But he doesn't. He describes what the woman has done in two ways, which when put together are staggering - 'She has done a beautiful thing (v6)...She did what she could (v8).' This woman has been completely devoted to Jesus, giving everything she had without holding anything back - and Jesus commends her for it. In effect, he's saying he's worth everything - 'She should give me this perfume, because I'm worth it' (a bit like a very early L'Oreal advert!)
This is the only time we find Jesus calling something 'beautiful.' Who does the Son of God think is beautiful? The woman who 'did what she could'.
We live in a society which holds up beauty as the greatest achievement for a woman. Magazines, TV shows, catwalks...all of them tell women that they need to be beautiful, that beauty is what they should devote themselves too. Jesus turns that upside down. What is true beauty? It is doing what we can for him, devoting everything we have to him. Beauty lies not in our face and our shape, but in our heart and our actions.
It's always lovely when someone says to us 'You're beautiful' or 'You're good-looking' or 'You're lovely'. Who would you most like to think you are beautiful - a passer-by on the street, a guy/girl at a party...or the eternal Son of God? Jesus looks at those who do what they can for him, who give him everything they've got, and those are the people that he says 'They do a beautiful thing.' That's true beauty - devotion to Jesus - and that's the only beauty that never fades.
Thursday, 15 February 2007
The Anglican Church at war
Given that over the next week or so most newspapers will have articles about the Anglican Church (of which the Church of England is part) fighting and falling apart, I thought it might be useful to think about what's going on, why it's come to this, and what the response of biblical Christians might be...
Starting today (Thursday) is a meeting of the 'primates' of the Anglican church - that is, all the Archbishops. The big thing they're going to talk about is what to do about the American Anglican Church. The problem is that a few years ago the American church (called The Episcopal Church) made an openly and actively gay man a bishop. The Bible, while calling us to love everyone and telling us that anyone can come to Jesus and be forgiven, also makes clear that active homosexuality is not the way God wants us to live and is therefore sinful. And that means that the American church has deliberately gone against what the Bible says (which they don't believe God wrote).
So it looks like the whole argument is about homosexuality, and that's what you'll read about and hear about in the media. But in fact the underlying argument is about whether the Anglican church is going to believe that God wrote the Bible and we should obey it even when it's really hard to do so, or whether the church is going to decide which bits of the Bible to obey and which bits to ignore. Obviously, that makes the argument a very serious one.
Because the Anglican church always moves slower than a turtle with a limp, it's taken till now to come to a head. And it could be messy. The African and Asian Anglican churches are almost all totally biblical, and the American church and some others (the Canadian, the New Zealand one), are almost all totally 'liberal' (that is, supportive of the American position). But some churches, like the Church of England, are split - that is, within the Church of England there are some people who are biblical, and try to obey what God says in the Bible, and some who are liberal, and want to ignore a large part of what the Bible says (that's a very simplistic view of things, but then this is a blog not a book!)
Why does it matter? Well it matters a lot in one sense because if the Anglican church as a whole, or (more likely) the Church of England on its own, becomes more and more liberal, then it will be harder and harder for Christians who want to live by what the Bible says to work for the Church of England (people like me!) For example, if in a few years' time vicars are told they must perform same-sex marriages (as already happens in places in America) then biblical vicars will refuse, and either be sacked or go to jail.
In another sense, it doesn't matter too much because we rely on Christ and not the church to save us, to teach us, to guide us and to bring us to his eternal kingdom. The whole of Christian history is littered with churches which stopped being biblical and turned away from Christ, and of groups of brave biblical men and women who set up new churches which did rely on Christ and believe that the Bible is God's Word (the Reformation is a good example of this). If the Anglican Church falls apart tomorrow, it would be very sad, but it wouldn't stop those of us who trust in Jesus' death on our place, revealed to us in God's Word, being saved Christians who can try to live Jesus' way and be with Jesus in eternity.
So what might biblical Christians do? Firstly, pray. Pray that God would ensure that the Anglican Church takes a firm stand on believing in the Bible and obeying God's word, and that people who don't want to do that would either change their minds or leave the church. Pray that if the Anglican Church doesn't do that, God would ensure that his people within the church keep going as true Christians.
Secondly, remember that Christ saves, church doesn't. If an individual church, or a whole demonination, stops believing in God's Word and trusting in God's Son, then we leave the church or denomination - but we don't lose our salvation. If you're at an Anglican church, remember you're a Christian first, Anglican second, and not the other way around.
Thirdly, don't be swayed by the media. Some of the media will present Bible-believing Christians as homophobic, prejudiced, narrow-minded bigots. We're not - we love all people and hate all sin, and we long for all people to repent of their sin and accept forgiveness from God. If we started telling people that God doesn't care how they live, that would be awful as people would then happily continue sinning, thinking God doesn't mind, and then face his judgement. Christians are not called to believe or say what's popular, but to believe and speak the truth that God reveals to us in his Word the Bible.
Starting today (Thursday) is a meeting of the 'primates' of the Anglican church - that is, all the Archbishops. The big thing they're going to talk about is what to do about the American Anglican Church. The problem is that a few years ago the American church (called The Episcopal Church) made an openly and actively gay man a bishop. The Bible, while calling us to love everyone and telling us that anyone can come to Jesus and be forgiven, also makes clear that active homosexuality is not the way God wants us to live and is therefore sinful. And that means that the American church has deliberately gone against what the Bible says (which they don't believe God wrote).
So it looks like the whole argument is about homosexuality, and that's what you'll read about and hear about in the media. But in fact the underlying argument is about whether the Anglican church is going to believe that God wrote the Bible and we should obey it even when it's really hard to do so, or whether the church is going to decide which bits of the Bible to obey and which bits to ignore. Obviously, that makes the argument a very serious one.
Because the Anglican church always moves slower than a turtle with a limp, it's taken till now to come to a head. And it could be messy. The African and Asian Anglican churches are almost all totally biblical, and the American church and some others (the Canadian, the New Zealand one), are almost all totally 'liberal' (that is, supportive of the American position). But some churches, like the Church of England, are split - that is, within the Church of England there are some people who are biblical, and try to obey what God says in the Bible, and some who are liberal, and want to ignore a large part of what the Bible says (that's a very simplistic view of things, but then this is a blog not a book!)
Why does it matter? Well it matters a lot in one sense because if the Anglican church as a whole, or (more likely) the Church of England on its own, becomes more and more liberal, then it will be harder and harder for Christians who want to live by what the Bible says to work for the Church of England (people like me!) For example, if in a few years' time vicars are told they must perform same-sex marriages (as already happens in places in America) then biblical vicars will refuse, and either be sacked or go to jail.
In another sense, it doesn't matter too much because we rely on Christ and not the church to save us, to teach us, to guide us and to bring us to his eternal kingdom. The whole of Christian history is littered with churches which stopped being biblical and turned away from Christ, and of groups of brave biblical men and women who set up new churches which did rely on Christ and believe that the Bible is God's Word (the Reformation is a good example of this). If the Anglican Church falls apart tomorrow, it would be very sad, but it wouldn't stop those of us who trust in Jesus' death on our place, revealed to us in God's Word, being saved Christians who can try to live Jesus' way and be with Jesus in eternity.
So what might biblical Christians do? Firstly, pray. Pray that God would ensure that the Anglican Church takes a firm stand on believing in the Bible and obeying God's word, and that people who don't want to do that would either change their minds or leave the church. Pray that if the Anglican Church doesn't do that, God would ensure that his people within the church keep going as true Christians.
Secondly, remember that Christ saves, church doesn't. If an individual church, or a whole demonination, stops believing in God's Word and trusting in God's Son, then we leave the church or denomination - but we don't lose our salvation. If you're at an Anglican church, remember you're a Christian first, Anglican second, and not the other way around.
Thirdly, don't be swayed by the media. Some of the media will present Bible-believing Christians as homophobic, prejudiced, narrow-minded bigots. We're not - we love all people and hate all sin, and we long for all people to repent of their sin and accept forgiveness from God. If we started telling people that God doesn't care how they live, that would be awful as people would then happily continue sinning, thinking God doesn't mind, and then face his judgement. Christians are not called to believe or say what's popular, but to believe and speak the truth that God reveals to us in his Word the Bible.
The Dating Game III
(For parts I and II, see below)
This is fast becoming a book on teenage dating!
Matt made a very useful comment about the Dating Game I, which was if you go out with a non-Christian as a teenager, doesn't that present you with a great opportunity to tell them the gospel, and to pray that God would work through you and your relationship to bring them to saving faith?
I think it's first worth pointing out that again (as so often) this is a matter of wisdom - but it certainly isn't a matter of triviality. And in some senses the answer is 'Yes' - sometimes people do come to real faith through going out with someone who's a Christian. But that doesn't make dating non-Christians the best thing to do. Just because God sometimes uses something unwise a person has done to bring someone else to faith, doesn't mean that that course of action is the wisest to take - it just means that God is truly amazing. For instance, let's imagine that I went out clubbing and got drunk. While I was buying my tenth pint at the bar, someone randomly asked me if I was a Christian. I slurred a reply, gave them my phone number and met up (sober) the next day to talk about Christ, and that person became a Christian. Does that mean I should spend my weekends propped up on various nightclub bars, totally hammered, because God used my mistake once?! No, of course not!
I think there are three reasons why it's unwise to date a non-Christian hoping to win them for Christ - for what they're worth, here they are...
1 - In my experience (and yes, I know I sound old!), far more relationships involving a Christian and a non-Christian end in the Christian falling away than the non-Christian becoming a Christian. If you think you're much stronger than most Christians then you'll think you don't need to worry - but if you think that, you're being a bit complacent so you do need to worry!
2 - There will be a lot of pressure on the non-Christian to say they're a Christian, as they'll know that for this relationship to continue they need to become a Christian. I can think of at least one instance where a non-Christian in a serious relationship with a Christian announced she had come to Christ, and she really thought she had. But when they split up she immediately fell away, and it turned out she'd never really been a Christian, she'd just really wanted to be one to make her boyfriend happy. So even if a non-Christian you're with seems to become a Christian, you'd still be worrying about whether he/she really was.
3 - and the best reason I think - if the reason you think it's OK to go out with a non-Christian is because you think that's the best way to get them to think about Christianity, then as soon as you find a better way to show them how much Jesus means to you you should follow that way. And here is a better way - instead of going out with them, a far clearer witness to the importance of Jesus in your life is to tell them that you would love to be friends and will be, and that you would love to go out with them but because your relationship with Jesus comes before anything else you would like just to be friends for the moment. You want to make sure that Jesus continues to come first, and you want that person to know how important Jesus is.
So in fact, I think not going out with someone is a far clearer witness to them about Jesus than going out with them. After all, if you're friends with someone you can still spend time with them and tell them about Christ - you don't have to be going out with someone to do that!
Hope that's helpful - do come back at me, Matt and anyone else!
This is fast becoming a book on teenage dating!
Matt made a very useful comment about the Dating Game I, which was if you go out with a non-Christian as a teenager, doesn't that present you with a great opportunity to tell them the gospel, and to pray that God would work through you and your relationship to bring them to saving faith?
I think it's first worth pointing out that again (as so often) this is a matter of wisdom - but it certainly isn't a matter of triviality. And in some senses the answer is 'Yes' - sometimes people do come to real faith through going out with someone who's a Christian. But that doesn't make dating non-Christians the best thing to do. Just because God sometimes uses something unwise a person has done to bring someone else to faith, doesn't mean that that course of action is the wisest to take - it just means that God is truly amazing. For instance, let's imagine that I went out clubbing and got drunk. While I was buying my tenth pint at the bar, someone randomly asked me if I was a Christian. I slurred a reply, gave them my phone number and met up (sober) the next day to talk about Christ, and that person became a Christian. Does that mean I should spend my weekends propped up on various nightclub bars, totally hammered, because God used my mistake once?! No, of course not!
I think there are three reasons why it's unwise to date a non-Christian hoping to win them for Christ - for what they're worth, here they are...
1 - In my experience (and yes, I know I sound old!), far more relationships involving a Christian and a non-Christian end in the Christian falling away than the non-Christian becoming a Christian. If you think you're much stronger than most Christians then you'll think you don't need to worry - but if you think that, you're being a bit complacent so you do need to worry!
2 - There will be a lot of pressure on the non-Christian to say they're a Christian, as they'll know that for this relationship to continue they need to become a Christian. I can think of at least one instance where a non-Christian in a serious relationship with a Christian announced she had come to Christ, and she really thought she had. But when they split up she immediately fell away, and it turned out she'd never really been a Christian, she'd just really wanted to be one to make her boyfriend happy. So even if a non-Christian you're with seems to become a Christian, you'd still be worrying about whether he/she really was.
3 - and the best reason I think - if the reason you think it's OK to go out with a non-Christian is because you think that's the best way to get them to think about Christianity, then as soon as you find a better way to show them how much Jesus means to you you should follow that way. And here is a better way - instead of going out with them, a far clearer witness to the importance of Jesus in your life is to tell them that you would love to be friends and will be, and that you would love to go out with them but because your relationship with Jesus comes before anything else you would like just to be friends for the moment. You want to make sure that Jesus continues to come first, and you want that person to know how important Jesus is.
So in fact, I think not going out with someone is a far clearer witness to them about Jesus than going out with them. After all, if you're friends with someone you can still spend time with them and tell them about Christ - you don't have to be going out with someone to do that!
Hope that's helpful - do come back at me, Matt and anyone else!
Verse of the week
'The LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish' Psalm 1:6
How encouraging for Christians to know that, as people made right with God through Jesus' death, God watches over our way! Every day, every minute, whatever we're doing and whereever we are, God is with us, watching over us, there to help us and guide us. How wonderful to know that because he watches over our way, he can continue to guide our path all the way into his eternal kingdom.
What are the things you do in your life that you find difficult? When are the times you find it difficult to keep going as a Christian? In those times, remember Psalm 1:6, that as you walk that way, God is still watching over you, and as you keep trusting in him he will bring you through.
And, if you're tempted to give it all up and follow the way so many others, who don't know Jesus, do, when it seems that it's so much easier or even more fun to walk in the way of the wicked, remember the second half of the verse. It may seem so much better to be 'wicked' at the moment, but though they don't know it their way leads not to happiness or success or contentment but only to perishing.
It is the righteous whom the LORD watches over; it is the Christian whose path he guides; it is the believer whose way he will bring all the way to eternal life with him. So keep walking through life as a righteous person, as a child of God who trusts in Jesus.
How encouraging for Christians to know that, as people made right with God through Jesus' death, God watches over our way! Every day, every minute, whatever we're doing and whereever we are, God is with us, watching over us, there to help us and guide us. How wonderful to know that because he watches over our way, he can continue to guide our path all the way into his eternal kingdom.
What are the things you do in your life that you find difficult? When are the times you find it difficult to keep going as a Christian? In those times, remember Psalm 1:6, that as you walk that way, God is still watching over you, and as you keep trusting in him he will bring you through.
And, if you're tempted to give it all up and follow the way so many others, who don't know Jesus, do, when it seems that it's so much easier or even more fun to walk in the way of the wicked, remember the second half of the verse. It may seem so much better to be 'wicked' at the moment, but though they don't know it their way leads not to happiness or success or contentment but only to perishing.
It is the righteous whom the LORD watches over; it is the Christian whose path he guides; it is the believer whose way he will bring all the way to eternal life with him. So keep walking through life as a righteous person, as a child of God who trusts in Jesus.
Thursday, 8 February 2007
The Dating Game II
(See below for part One)
I should say that this isn't the final word on any of this, and it's always good to talk about things as we try to follow God's will and not our own...so do make comments on this blog and then I can respond (don't be too rude though!)
This is where it gets tricky - because having worked out that anyone we date must help our relationship with Jesus, and looked at areas where the Bible demands our obedience as Christians, we now get onto issues of wisdom...remember these are NOT trivial. They're important, and we should seek to think about not what we'd like, but what God would want us to do.
So, for example, the question 'How far is too far?' The Bible doesn't give you a list of do's and don'ts, but there's a lot of wisdom as a Christian we can use. For instance, the Bible tells us to 'abstain from sinful desires' (1 Peter 2:11) and to be 'self controlled and alert, as your enemy the devil prowls around...looking for someone to devour' (1 Peter 5:8). So wisdom says don't put yourself in a situation where you know you might sin. Better to walk on the path than see how near to the cliff-edge you can get. Someone once very usefully said to me 'If you're asking if it's too far, then it probably is.'
Equally, the question of how we dress. We're told that it is really serious if we cause another Christian to sin (Luke 17:1-3) - so wisdom says don't deliberately dress to make members of the opposite sex think lustfully about you, because that's a sin. If you fancy a girl/guy, your number one priority should not be getting them to fancy you but helping them to live as God wants.
Thirdly, the question of whether to date someone at all is not trivial, it's a matter of wisdom (but not of obedience, I don't think). A wise question to ask, I think, is what will a dating relationship give you and him/her that you don't already have as friends? If it's only stuff that you want (impressed looks from passers-by, the lads/girls being a bit envious, nice kisses, someone to msn with all the time), and not stuff that God would want (you'll pray together, you'll support and challenge each other, you'll join together to tell friends about Jesus) then you might have ask yourself whether you want to date this person to bring God glory, or to bring you glory!
The last thing (I think!) I want to say about dating is that, as with all relationships, we get things wrong. We treat the other person wrongly, we make mistakes, maybe we even end up sinning by going too far physically or going out with someone when it's not helping us or them.
And of course the great news of the gospel is that although we all stuff up, we can all be forgiven, because God loves us enough to send his Son to die for us (1 John 4:10, a great verse). There is no mistake you can make in the dating game too big for God to forgive you. So if you realise you've mucked up, come before God, admit to him that you made a mistake, ask for his forgiveness and know that it's all over and you're forgiven.
The sad thing is that sometimes teenagers make really big mistakes in relationships and then feel they can't talk to their youth leader or (more importantly) God about it. That is never true. If you get it wrong, so does everyone else! - and God is always waiting for you to turn back to him, to say 'God, I got it wrong, and I'm sorry, and thank you that because I have a relationship with Jesus you will forgive me.'
Right, it's now snowing hard outside so I am going to go and watch it falling rather than sitting here blogging all day - isn't God's creation amazing?!
I should say that this isn't the final word on any of this, and it's always good to talk about things as we try to follow God's will and not our own...so do make comments on this blog and then I can respond (don't be too rude though!)
This is where it gets tricky - because having worked out that anyone we date must help our relationship with Jesus, and looked at areas where the Bible demands our obedience as Christians, we now get onto issues of wisdom...remember these are NOT trivial. They're important, and we should seek to think about not what we'd like, but what God would want us to do.
So, for example, the question 'How far is too far?' The Bible doesn't give you a list of do's and don'ts, but there's a lot of wisdom as a Christian we can use. For instance, the Bible tells us to 'abstain from sinful desires' (1 Peter 2:11) and to be 'self controlled and alert, as your enemy the devil prowls around...looking for someone to devour' (1 Peter 5:8). So wisdom says don't put yourself in a situation where you know you might sin. Better to walk on the path than see how near to the cliff-edge you can get. Someone once very usefully said to me 'If you're asking if it's too far, then it probably is.'
Equally, the question of how we dress. We're told that it is really serious if we cause another Christian to sin (Luke 17:1-3) - so wisdom says don't deliberately dress to make members of the opposite sex think lustfully about you, because that's a sin. If you fancy a girl/guy, your number one priority should not be getting them to fancy you but helping them to live as God wants.
Thirdly, the question of whether to date someone at all is not trivial, it's a matter of wisdom (but not of obedience, I don't think). A wise question to ask, I think, is what will a dating relationship give you and him/her that you don't already have as friends? If it's only stuff that you want (impressed looks from passers-by, the lads/girls being a bit envious, nice kisses, someone to msn with all the time), and not stuff that God would want (you'll pray together, you'll support and challenge each other, you'll join together to tell friends about Jesus) then you might have ask yourself whether you want to date this person to bring God glory, or to bring you glory!
The last thing (I think!) I want to say about dating is that, as with all relationships, we get things wrong. We treat the other person wrongly, we make mistakes, maybe we even end up sinning by going too far physically or going out with someone when it's not helping us or them.
And of course the great news of the gospel is that although we all stuff up, we can all be forgiven, because God loves us enough to send his Son to die for us (1 John 4:10, a great verse). There is no mistake you can make in the dating game too big for God to forgive you. So if you realise you've mucked up, come before God, admit to him that you made a mistake, ask for his forgiveness and know that it's all over and you're forgiven.
The sad thing is that sometimes teenagers make really big mistakes in relationships and then feel they can't talk to their youth leader or (more importantly) God about it. That is never true. If you get it wrong, so does everyone else! - and God is always waiting for you to turn back to him, to say 'God, I got it wrong, and I'm sorry, and thank you that because I have a relationship with Jesus you will forgive me.'
Right, it's now snowing hard outside so I am going to go and watch it falling rather than sitting here blogging all day - isn't God's creation amazing?!
The Dating Game I
A few thoughts on teenagers and dating...(this could be a long one!)
The trouble with this whole area is that the Bible doesn't say much, and what it does say is easy for clever people to excuse themselves from. So I think the first thing to do is to remember about how we look to God for guidance, splitting decisions into 'obedience', 'wisdom' and 'trivia' (see two posts down if you're confused!)
The thing about teenage Christian dating, that is dating at an age where you're clearly not going to get married next week, is that a lot of it is, I feel, about wisdom. But the tendency for some people is to make these matters ones of obedience (e.g. 'If you kiss your girlfriend on the lips, that's wrong') and for some people is to make these matters ones of trivia ('God really doesn't mind who I go out with'). Obviously if you're a teenager the temptation for you will always be to make everything trivial!
So, let's start at the beginning, and look at where human relationships fit in to our Christian life...
If you're a Christian, your relationship with Jesus is the most important one in your life (or should be). No other relationship can give you what this one does; salvation from judgement, a place in the New Creation, access to God in prayer, the Holy Spirit guiding you. No boy/girlfriend can compete with that!
So, in biblical order of priority, here are our relationships;
Relationship with Jesus
Relationship with husband/wife (if you had one!)
Relationship with family and friends
Relationship with myself (doing what I want)
If you have a boy/girlfriend, because you're not married to them it'll come between husband/wife and family/friends, where exactly will depend on how serious it is.
That means that when thinking about who to go out with, the most important consideration is 'How will this person help my relationship with Jesus?' It seems to me that if we asked that question honestly before we started going out with someone, that would save a load of trouble. Notice the question isn't 'Is this person a Christian?' but 'How will this person help my relationship with Jesus?' It's all to do with which relationship has priority. Imagine that I want a dog, I'd love to have a relationship with a pet dog. However, my wife Lizzie is allergic to dogs - so if I bring a dog home, it will seriously damage my relationship with Lizzie. Since my relationship with my wife is more important than my relationship with any dog could be, I leave the dog in the pet shop because it won't help my relationship with Lizzie.
Having got that sorted, let's think about issues of obedience (of which I think there are few):
a) Because any kind of physical relationship reflects (to some extent) marriage, it should be between a guy and a girl (Gen 2:24, Romans 1:25-27)
b) Sex is for within marriage, and therefore not for people who are dating (Gen 2:24)
c) Our very closest friends should be Christians (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) - our boy/girlfriend should be one of our very closest friends (if they're not, why are you going out with them?!) so should be a Christian.
d) Since we should pray about everything (Phil 4:6), we should pray about whether to go out with someone or not
OK, more to follow soon...
The trouble with this whole area is that the Bible doesn't say much, and what it does say is easy for clever people to excuse themselves from. So I think the first thing to do is to remember about how we look to God for guidance, splitting decisions into 'obedience', 'wisdom' and 'trivia' (see two posts down if you're confused!)
The thing about teenage Christian dating, that is dating at an age where you're clearly not going to get married next week, is that a lot of it is, I feel, about wisdom. But the tendency for some people is to make these matters ones of obedience (e.g. 'If you kiss your girlfriend on the lips, that's wrong') and for some people is to make these matters ones of trivia ('God really doesn't mind who I go out with'). Obviously if you're a teenager the temptation for you will always be to make everything trivial!
So, let's start at the beginning, and look at where human relationships fit in to our Christian life...
If you're a Christian, your relationship with Jesus is the most important one in your life (or should be). No other relationship can give you what this one does; salvation from judgement, a place in the New Creation, access to God in prayer, the Holy Spirit guiding you. No boy/girlfriend can compete with that!
So, in biblical order of priority, here are our relationships;
Relationship with Jesus
Relationship with husband/wife (if you had one!)
Relationship with family and friends
Relationship with myself (doing what I want)
If you have a boy/girlfriend, because you're not married to them it'll come between husband/wife and family/friends, where exactly will depend on how serious it is.
That means that when thinking about who to go out with, the most important consideration is 'How will this person help my relationship with Jesus?' It seems to me that if we asked that question honestly before we started going out with someone, that would save a load of trouble. Notice the question isn't 'Is this person a Christian?' but 'How will this person help my relationship with Jesus?' It's all to do with which relationship has priority. Imagine that I want a dog, I'd love to have a relationship with a pet dog. However, my wife Lizzie is allergic to dogs - so if I bring a dog home, it will seriously damage my relationship with Lizzie. Since my relationship with my wife is more important than my relationship with any dog could be, I leave the dog in the pet shop because it won't help my relationship with Lizzie.
Having got that sorted, let's think about issues of obedience (of which I think there are few):
a) Because any kind of physical relationship reflects (to some extent) marriage, it should be between a guy and a girl (Gen 2:24, Romans 1:25-27)
b) Sex is for within marriage, and therefore not for people who are dating (Gen 2:24)
c) Our very closest friends should be Christians (2 Corinthians 6:14-15) - our boy/girlfriend should be one of our very closest friends (if they're not, why are you going out with them?!) so should be a Christian.
d) Since we should pray about everything (Phil 4:6), we should pray about whether to go out with someone or not
OK, more to follow soon...
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