The Dating Game III

(For parts I and II, see below)

This is fast becoming a book on teenage dating!

Matt made a very useful comment about the Dating Game I, which was if you go out with a non-Christian as a teenager, doesn't that present you with a great opportunity to tell them the gospel, and to pray that God would work through you and your relationship to bring them to saving faith?
I think it's first worth pointing out that again (as so often) this is a matter of wisdom - but it certainly isn't a matter of triviality. And in some senses the answer is 'Yes' - sometimes people do come to real faith through going out with someone who's a Christian. But that doesn't make dating non-Christians the best thing to do. Just because God sometimes uses something unwise a person has done to bring someone else to faith, doesn't mean that that course of action is the wisest to take - it just means that God is truly amazing. For instance, let's imagine that I went out clubbing and got drunk. While I was buying my tenth pint at the bar, someone randomly asked me if I was a Christian. I slurred a reply, gave them my phone number and met up (sober) the next day to talk about Christ, and that person became a Christian. Does that mean I should spend my weekends propped up on various nightclub bars, totally hammered, because God used my mistake once?! No, of course not!
I think there are three reasons why it's unwise to date a non-Christian hoping to win them for Christ - for what they're worth, here they are...

1 - In my experience (and yes, I know I sound old!), far more relationships involving a Christian and a non-Christian end in the Christian falling away than the non-Christian becoming a Christian. If you think you're much stronger than most Christians then you'll think you don't need to worry - but if you think that, you're being a bit complacent so you do need to worry!

2 - There will be a lot of pressure on the non-Christian to say they're a Christian, as they'll know that for this relationship to continue they need to become a Christian. I can think of at least one instance where a non-Christian in a serious relationship with a Christian announced she had come to Christ, and she really thought she had. But when they split up she immediately fell away, and it turned out she'd never really been a Christian, she'd just really wanted to be one to make her boyfriend happy. So even if a non-Christian you're with seems to become a Christian, you'd still be worrying about whether he/she really was.

3 - and the best reason I think - if the reason you think it's OK to go out with a non-Christian is because you think that's the best way to get them to think about Christianity, then as soon as you find a better way to show them how much Jesus means to you you should follow that way. And here is a better way - instead of going out with them, a far clearer witness to the importance of Jesus in your life is to tell them that you would love to be friends and will be, and that you would love to go out with them but because your relationship with Jesus comes before anything else you would like just to be friends for the moment. You want to make sure that Jesus continues to come first, and you want that person to know how important Jesus is.
So in fact, I think not going out with someone is a far clearer witness to them about Jesus than going out with them. After all, if you're friends with someone you can still spend time with them and tell them about Christ - you don't have to be going out with someone to do that!

Hope that's helpful - do come back at me, Matt and anyone else!