The Dating Game II

(See below for part One)

I should say that this isn't the final word on any of this, and it's always good to talk about things as we try to follow God's will and not our own...so do make comments on this blog and then I can respond (don't be too rude though!)

This is where it gets tricky - because having worked out that anyone we date must help our relationship with Jesus, and looked at areas where the Bible demands our obedience as Christians, we now get onto issues of wisdom...remember these are NOT trivial. They're important, and we should seek to think about not what we'd like, but what God would want us to do.

So, for example, the question 'How far is too far?' The Bible doesn't give you a list of do's and don'ts, but there's a lot of wisdom as a Christian we can use. For instance, the Bible tells us to 'abstain from sinful desires' (1 Peter 2:11) and to be 'self controlled and alert, as your enemy the devil prowls around...looking for someone to devour' (1 Peter 5:8). So wisdom says don't put yourself in a situation where you know you might sin. Better to walk on the path than see how near to the cliff-edge you can get. Someone once very usefully said to me 'If you're asking if it's too far, then it probably is.'
Equally, the question of how we dress. We're told that it is really serious if we cause another Christian to sin (Luke 17:1-3) - so wisdom says don't deliberately dress to make members of the opposite sex think lustfully about you, because that's a sin. If you fancy a girl/guy, your number one priority should not be getting them to fancy you but helping them to live as God wants.
Thirdly, the question of whether to date someone at all is not trivial, it's a matter of wisdom (but not of obedience, I don't think). A wise question to ask, I think, is what will a dating relationship give you and him/her that you don't already have as friends? If it's only stuff that you want (impressed looks from passers-by, the lads/girls being a bit envious, nice kisses, someone to msn with all the time), and not stuff that God would want (you'll pray together, you'll support and challenge each other, you'll join together to tell friends about Jesus) then you might have ask yourself whether you want to date this person to bring God glory, or to bring you glory!

The last thing (I think!) I want to say about dating is that, as with all relationships, we get things wrong. We treat the other person wrongly, we make mistakes, maybe we even end up sinning by going too far physically or going out with someone when it's not helping us or them.
And of course the great news of the gospel is that although we all stuff up, we can all be forgiven, because God loves us enough to send his Son to die for us (1 John 4:10, a great verse). There is no mistake you can make in the dating game too big for God to forgive you. So if you realise you've mucked up, come before God, admit to him that you made a mistake, ask for his forgiveness and know that it's all over and you're forgiven.
The sad thing is that sometimes teenagers make really big mistakes in relationships and then feel they can't talk to their youth leader or (more importantly) God about it. That is never true. If you get it wrong, so does everyone else! - and God is always waiting for you to turn back to him, to say 'God, I got it wrong, and I'm sorry, and thank you that because I have a relationship with Jesus you will forgive me.'

Right, it's now snowing hard outside so I am going to go and watch it falling rather than sitting here blogging all day - isn't God's creation amazing?!